1) Make it unique and yours – try not to follow the many out there that have all the same information i.e.: We are so and so – our families are excited – we live in a nice neighborhood – we enjoy these things together – you have seen them I am sure. Addressing it to “Dear Birthmother” I believe is out-dated – She is not a birthmother until she places the child. Maybe say “Dear friend”, “Dear Special Person” or just start with “Hi”.

2) Either include a couple pages with photos or insert photos within the letter. Expectant parents can make a better connection with someone when they can look into their face. Expectant parents like to see pictures of the home their child will be raised in, activities the family has done together, the parents and siblings the child will be raised with and nursery pictures.

**If possible a letter with the pictures inserted into the letter is best so when you are talking about your home you have a picture right there to look at and same with vacations, insert a photo and so on. It also breaks up the letter so it doesn’t look overwhelming with just all words.

3) Never use words like “give your baby up” or “give your baby what you can’t” - replace these negatives with things like “Creating a life plan for your child”, “Making an adoption plan”, “Taking responsibility for your child’s future” or “Securing your child’s future in a family you created for them”

Also this is not an unwanted pregnancy but rather an unplanned pregnancy. Every baby is wanted because God created them to be. Even experiencing an unplanned pregnancy gives the mother an opportunity to plan the child’s future through adoption.

4) Use beautiful or fun paper to run your letter on- something to appeal to the mom. Try to avoid the baby papers because this letter is to her not the baby – I have seen mom’s more impressed when the letter is on flower or embroidered paper because they felt that the adoptive parents were interested in her and not just getting a baby.

5) Try to include some humor because these letters begin to all look the same to these mom’s and they get a little stressed after a bit so a little laughter will help them relax while reading your letter. My personal letter made these statements:

“We hope your looking for just a regular family ‘cause that is what we are. We have two children, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a rabbit that live in our home. We go camping or go stay with family for vacations, and yes, we even own a mini van!! We go to church on Sunday and have pizza night on Friday. (Showing a picture of us all together)

“I really want a son so I never have to make another Barbie birthday cake again” (showing a picture of the cake)

Most expectant parents are not looking for the rich and elite but rather a regular family who will love and nurture the child while having fun with them. A family that is down to earth and enjoying life is more preferred.

6) Keep your letter to no more then probably 6 – 10 pages. To much to read causes the mom’s to put the letter down. You want to keep her attention but don’t over load her – remember she might be looking at 5 to 10 of these at the same time. Inserting the pictures within the letter also helps keeps their attention. If all you have is page after page of words it might get overwhelming.

7) Don’t just send loose pages. Put them in something like page protectors and find a creative way to connect them together. Either in a card stock binder, maybe with a picture of you glued to the front – or with ribbon through the holes on the side, create a cover page that is decorative.

8) It is best not to have your last name, address or direct phone number on the letter. Leave identifying information for when you are selected by the parent and are planning to have openness. Not that we do not trust the expectant parents. but what if your letter fell into the wrong hands and they decided to harass or scam you. If you want contact information in your letter, you can obtain a toll free number from your long distance carrier, usually free of charge. These numbers are designed to protect your privacy.
I hope this is helpful in your journey in creating a Presentation letter that is attractive and successful.

Shelia Davis
Referral Coordinator